but I must say any menace needs a sidekick and it was my sidekick that called me a menace. This title came during an afternoon lunch at an upscale restaurant while we were doing our best impressions of ghetto folks. That's right two blond women who are no longer in our 30s trying to be ghetto among businessmen, we have no shame.
Anyway I digress, we don't really know any slang other than what Snoop Dog made popular.
So today my sidekick and I were in our favorite local coffee destination and I swear to God people dressed for our entertainment. Well of course we couldn't resist letting our caddy inner 15 year old selves out and photographs had to document these catastrophes.
The main subject was a very unfortunate girl in her 20s trying to make her outfit hip; however she should have checked out the current issue of Lucky magazine verses the one from 2009. I will describe because I am not sure of the legality of posting the pictures (yes we took multiple photographs).
However, before I describe the outfit let me describe the incident that made me not like this girl very much. We were sitting in at a table adjacent to her and I started smelling this really awful foul odor, typically while in this coffee house you only smell roasting coffee and the occasional bagel, this is what perplexed me. The odor was overwhelming and so completely foul it was stomach turning. I couldn't figure it out, I kept saying "what is that smell, OMG that is awful. What do you think it is?? Did they mess something up in the kitchen??" At this point Sidekick pointed out that the offensively dressed girl had taken her rain boots off and was just putting them back on. You heard me right, she was in a public place wet, rubber rain boots and foul stinky feet. I have a instant dislike of anyone that takes the comfort of themselves over that of others while in a public place. Well at this point all civil obedience was thrown out the window (in a completely civilized way of course).
Apparently the girl, lets just call her Stinky for the sake of convenience, was with a friend of some sort, possible boyfriend (who by the way looked like he may of had too many cocktails with his lunch) were waiting for friends. When the friends arrived she had her boots back on and the stench had dissipated by this time (that is how I know for sure it was her feet that offended so many).
So let me get back on track here, once the friends arrived the foursome got up and went to the line at the counter to order their lunch, it was at this time that Sidekick about had a seizure witnessing the the catastrophe of an outfit and the smart phones were put to work. Here we go, head band holding her hair back that was pulled back in a bun of sorts. I never understood why people would pull their hair back and than put a headband on, it seems counter productive. The offensive white and plaid pink rubber rain boots. It is my opinion that white and any type of pink plaid is only suitable for the club and never on boots. The best part which was the reason for the picture was her tight gray leggings a white t-shirt with a navy hoodie over it all of which were not pulled down over her butt which revealed black bikini cut underwear. I will spare you the pleather leopard print purse with the painted roses on it.
The whole outfit was just a complete disaster and if it were not for the lack of consideration that she exhibited for removing her stinky boots in public you may have never gotten a chance to witness this with me.
So this is me, I am a 40 year old woman that likes to let her inner 15 year old come out and I don't apologize for it. One thing I always tell people, own who you are. We all make mistakes, that is what life is about, have fun and smile.
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